Parent Effectiveness Training
Call (714) 495-8531
  • Home
  • Philosophy
  • Instructor
  • Class Schedule
  • Private Coaching
  • Cost
  • Our Blog
  • Be Your Best
  • L.E.T.
  • Contact Us
  • Attachment Style

Keeping it Positive!

12/11/2020

0 Comments

 
Picture

Parents are generally quick to point out the behaviors of their children they don't like, but it is an exception to point out the positive. Let's say your child interrupts a conversation with your friend. You may say; "I'm talking right now honey" or "You're interrupting". But what do you say when your child is not interrupting your conversation? Do you say; "Thank you for waiting" or "I appreciate you letting me finish my conversation"!?



​If you generally skip the positive and are keen to point out what bothers you it can have unintentional negative side effects. It may chip away at your child's self esteem, or children may learn to get your attention by behaving in ways that are annoying to you. 
 
I have an experiment for you!
 
When you come home today, try to keep track of the number of times you point out a negative, and also count the number of positive statements you make. Ideally you want the positives to outweigh the negatives. So tell them what you like, love, appreciate or are thankful for. Or otherwise share your positive feelings with your child ("I love you"; "I am inspired by you").
 
Sending positive messages is especially important when you are struggling with your child. Maybe they hit or scream a lot. Try to say something when they are NOT hitting or screaming instead of only pointing out the times they do; "I see how mad you are and I really appreciate you are not screaming at me. You could scream but you are not and that makes it easier for me to understand and talk with you."
 
Last night, I was about to point out to my daughter that her dishes were still on the table. Instead I chose to tell my son; "I appreciate that you put your dishes in the kitchen and cleaned the table, thank you Jake! He was beaming, his chest inflated, he sure liked hearing that! Before you knew it Maggie followed right along.
 
For more parenting help, try out our Online Parent Effectiveness Training Book Club

Click here to ENROLL

$99 for a 6-week Online Program!

 
WINTER 2021 ONLINE SCHEDULE:

Tuesday evening Pacific Time
    Jan 5th - Feb 9th 2021 (6 weeks)
    7:30pm - 9:00pm Pacific Time  


Wednesday morning Pacific Time 
    Jan 6th - Feb 10th 2021 (6 weeks)
    9:30am - 11:00am 
Pacific Time

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author
    Meike Lemmens

    International Parent Effectiveness Training Master Trainer, Parenting Coach, and mother of 2 terrific kids!

    Archives

    February 2023
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2020
    March 2018
    March 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    May 2016
    March 2016
    December 2015
    September 2015
    October 2014
    February 2012
    January 2012
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    March 2011

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly