Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.)

At the very root of the Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) philosophy is a belief that children aren’t bad or mischievous; they simply behave in ways that satisfy their particular needs at the moment. A baby cries because he is hungry; a four-year-old sticks her hands into a can of paint and spills it on the carpet because she wants to play with the paint, to explore; a sixteen-year-old comes home later than you feel is safe because he feels a need to be with his friends.

Children have the right to meet their needs, but parents do too. It is in meeting these conflicting needs that most parent/child relationships get into trouble. Some parents insist on obedience from their children, so they get their needs met at the expense of the children meeting theirs’. Other parents, wishing to spare their children any hurt and aggravation, give in and let their children get their way, but then the parents suffer. Either way someone is left feeling resentful of the other. It is this constant cycle of power struggles and the subsequent pent-up resentments that result that slowly begin to erode the parent/child relationship.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. There is a third option: Both parents and children can get their needs met.

Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) is made up of a very specific set of communication skills that enable parents to positively influence their children’s behavior. When parents use the skills they really are amazed at the dramatic improvements in their families and in all their relationships. P.E.T. was created by award-winning psychologist and 3-time Nobel Peace Prize Nominee, Dr. Thomas Gordon. A major revision of the P.E.T. program has recently been completed with new content, examples and materials that actively address the current problems, issues and concerns of today's parents.

You, too, can learn these communication and conflict resolution skills through Dr. Gordon's P.E.T. program, taught by certified International master training Meike Lemmens 

You Will Learn How to:
  • Talk to your children so that they will listen to you and change behavior.
  • Listen to your children so they feel genuinely understood.
  • Resolve conflicts and problems in your family so that no one loses and problems stay solved.
  • Troubleshoot family problems and know which skills to use to solve them.
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The Result for You and Your Family:
  • Your children will feel free to discuss their problems and concerns with you instead of withdrawing.
  • You will learn how to work with each other instead of against each other.
  • Your children will learn self-discipline, self-control and responsibility.
  • You'll experience fewer anger outbursts and more problem solving.
  • Motivation by everyone to make rules because they help set them.
  • Fewer power struggles - less tension and resentment, more fun, more peace, more love.
How the program works 
During COVID-19, we offer Zoom Parent Effectiveness Training Book Clubs while our in-person courses are suspended. ​This P.E.T. Book Club is hosted by a Meike Lemmens, Master P.E.T. Trainer with 10+ years of experience and certified by Gordon Training International. You will meet in small group on Zoom with approx. 6 parents to get support and encouragement from one another and most importantly, answers to your parenting questions. We meet for 90 minutes once a week, for 6 weeks, and discuss 2-3 chapters each week. The cost of this Zoom P.E.T. Book Club is $95 for the whole 6-weeks, not including the updated 2019 P.E.T. Textbook. You can order a copy at any book seller or on our website. We offer the Book Clubs on multiple days and at different times, Choose which day and time work best for you.

References 
  • Davidson, J., & Wood, C. (2004). A conflict resolution model. Theory into Practice, 43(1), 6–13.
  • Cedar, B., & Levant, R. F. (1991). A meta-analysis of the effects of parent effectiveness training. American Journal of Family Therapy, 18(4), 373–384.​

Testimonials

"P.E.T. has completely changed my life. I was at the point where I was no longer getting much joy from being a mother. I was having constant struggles with my oldest son and then arguing about it with my husband.

Thankfully, I came upon P.E.T. in the nick of time! He has gone from having arguments and tantrums and going to time out multiple times a day to calmly discussing issues with us and giving us hugs and kisses!"

"WOW, this is how I want to raise my kids!" I will forever be grateful for the change P.E.T. has made in our lives!"
- A. Robichuad

"I took Dr. Gordon's course years ago because I was having trouble with our teenage son.

​Not only did these skills help me rebuild that relationship, but they helped every relationship in my life. My mother, my friends and, most important, my marriage have all benefitted greatly from my having the skills! And I never leave home without them."
- B. Strickland

"I love this system and wish everyone took it throughout life as needed. I wish I could have learned this from my parents as a kid - it would have made my whole life better in all my relationships. starting my kids out with it is the next best thing" 
- J.M. Pasadena CA​

"What a blessing that I found this course! I wish that every parent in the whole world would take it - I'm sure it would help humanity a whole bunch. So grateful. I'm happier already, and my 5 year old says I'm doing better as a mom :-) and that my husband isn't as grumpy with her at bedtime. Success!!" 
- Ayn, Irvine CA
Class Schedule
​The Goal of P.E.T.T
The Overall Goal of P.E.T. is to teach parents very practical communication and conflict resolution skills to create more happy and satisfying relationships with their children. The skills we teach are:
  • Listening with Understanding to help children express thought and feelings and solve their own problems independently.
  • Preventing Problem Proactively so that families are happier and stronger.
  • Communicating Assertively and Honestly to help parents express their wants and needs and deal with unacceptable behavior.
  • No-Lose Conflict Resolution so the needs of both parents and children are met. 
  • Strategies to Deal with Values Collisions between parents and kids to increase understanding and acceptance.

​The Core Values of P.E.T.
  • Children have the right to get their important needs met.
  • Parents have the right to get their important  needs met.
  • Preventing problems before they arise is better than waiting to deal with them after they occur.
  • Families can become more loving, open, honest and happy when they solve problems and conflicts without anyone losing. 
  • Parents have the right to share their important values with their children.
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Some Key Aspects of P.E.T.
  1. Practical communication skills training so both parent and child get their needs met, without the use of parental power.
  2. Effective alternative to punishment and reward.
  3. A framework to determine when to use which communication skills for what purpose so you'll know what to say in the heat of the moment when emotions run high.
  4. Democratic parenting style (I/O authoritarian or permissive) to have collaborative, cooperative relationships with children.
  5. Empathic listening skills so children will grow up responsible and solve their own problems independently.
  6. Assertive self-disclosure through honest, clear and non-blameful communication.
  7. No-Lose Method of Conflict resolution so problems in your family stay solved.

Click here to see some of Meike's video clips from KDOC-TV - The Daily Buzz.